I'm 1/8th Irish. Which is actually more than I am anything else in particular (except Polish, but we don't talk that up so much in my family). So, I'm Irish. But guess what? Everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick's Day! Unless you drink Green Beer which means you're just a freaking idiot. Look, not even Killian's Red is Irish, ok? It's Guinness, Harp or Murphey's and no other beer will do. Want something harder? Then go for some Bushmills. Just nothing green. Anyway, lots of games were released this past fortnight and a horde more went gold. But that's not all! We've also got nudity in our soccer and Microsoft's reportedly underwhelming Gamestock 2001. Oh, we have a winner for that contest too!
Actual Game Quote: "I'll bleed you slow, Irishman!" ~Lizbeth, from Clive Barker's Undying
Microsoft didn't invite me to Gamestock this year. Well, they kinda did but it was too late to buy a plane ticket for less than $10,000 by the time they actually got around to thinking about inviting me. This was remarkable because Microsoft has always invited me to Gamestock on their dime. By "always" I actually mean "once" and by "every year" I really mean "last year." Anyway, because of that one free trip I've come to associate this time of the year with Seattle rain, guzzling sweet Microsoft purchased spirits, debauchery, free backpacks, vibrators* and the rantings and ravings of insane (drunken) PCGamer-appointed "Game Gods". Thankfully Sharky was quickly able to send someone else and you'll see an article from him soon right here at Sharky Games... but remember, my article would have been funnier.
Gamestock! Peace, Love and No Bub!
So, instead of lovingly and gratefully covering Microsoft in this section of Beatdown, I'm just going to point out, in a "non-sour grapes" kind of way that... Crimson Skies still isn't fixed! Yeah! And that Microsoft Baseball 2000 was the worst baseball game ever made and Mechwarrior 4 had awful in-mission movies! Also, er... we deserved an NFL Fever and NBA Inside Drive 2001, dammit! Ha-ha! Midtown Madness 2 was very disappointing! And that... um... Crimson Skies still isn't fixed! OK, so there isn't really that much to complain about with Microsoft games. Damn. I hope the Xbox crashes in the marketplace too!**.
*they gave out Force Feedback Pens last year
**not really