When someone says “January,” I think of cold and bleak. The future just doesn't look very bright when the skies are gray and the snow is pushed haphazardly to the side of the road, colored black with city road grime. New games only trickle out this time of year and exciting announcements are generally sparse. And it'd be nice if we had good economic news and a cessation of dot com closings going on. Nope the future doesn't look too good on this gray January morn…. So, what the heck! Let's make fun of everything!
Game Quote of the Week: Scientist: “You've got to run! It will kill us all!!" Konoko: “Why did you create it, then?!” Scientist: “Um… well, you know….” ~ Oni
A large part of Northern California was plunged into darkness yesterday due to extreme electrical shortages throughout the newly deregulated state of disaster otherwise known as California. This crisis has forced rolling blackouts, consternation throughout the Silicon Valley and more than a few inconvenienced gamers.
Beatdown would like to make the following suggestions to California gamers during these difficult times.
1. Remember, when the power is off you can always play games by candlelight.
2. When using candles for gaming, be sure not to place the candle too close to your monitor as it might damage your screen.
3. Marvel at how quiet your machine runs now. How fast it boots up! How it doesn't crash anymore!
4. Remember when your mom told you playing video games all the time would ruin your imagination? Bet you wish you had an imagination now, don't you? Huh punk? Don't you? Bet that blank screen would look a whole lot more like Quake III or EverQuest then, wouldn't it?
Apparently Angelina Jolie, the intentionally provocative screen starlet portraying the ever-popular and pneumatic Lara Croft in the upcoming Tomb Raider flick, let slip to England's Empire Magazine that she intends to return for two more Tomb Raider moves. Perhaps following the recent Hollywood trend of filming sequels back to back to save on money (Lord of the Rings and the Matrix being two examples that spring to mind). I can't guarantee the movies will be any good but I can guarantee Tomb Raider 2 and 3 will feature new outfits for Lara, but the same tired special effects you'll see in the first one.