With the holidays quickly approaching the news starts to dwindle. As do games going gold. But as the number of released games mount up, our bellys and hard-drives fill up, and the computer calls us away from family and friends. Feign a tummy-ache when they invite you to go a'wassailing and you'll do all right. I've got stunning election news for you; talk of an evil empire and lots of stuff about some goth chick named Alice. Let's get to it then.
Quote of the Week: "But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
Game Quote of the Week: “Our pleasure is business and our business is pleasure.” ~Chinese Madam, from Hitman: Codename 47
On Wednesday December 13th it finally ended. America, finally, has a new president elect and his name is George W. Bush. Or is it? Seems that the band-aid Bush was sporting just after the election wasn't the boil his doctors claimed it was. You see, what wasn't captured by the cameras Wednesday night was Bush ripping away his band-aid and revealing what no gamer wanted to see… a throbbing, pulsating, pink-glowing crystal jammed into his cheekbone. With screams resounding through the room, spindly George W. Bush transformed himself to his true form. The familiar horned visage of Diablo, noted Republican and sometime Lord of Terror.
“And you thought you were voting for the lesser of two evils!” the fiery demon cried to the singed yet still applauding Texas audience. “Now, bring me the head of this Al Gore!”
Republicans nationwide have already mobilized to appease their new Demonic Commander-in-Chief and are seeking Gore and his family even as you read this.
Beatdown election correspondent Deckard Cain reports that the Gore camp has once again withdrawn their concession and that they are even now leveling up and girding themselves for battle. “Welcome, stay awhile and listen,” he began needlessly. “Tipper the Amazon and Lieberman the Necromancer are at Gore the Barbarian's side even now. They'll defeat President Diablo with the help of Clinton's Vorpal Sword of Vigor and Gore's expert use of the Horadric Cube.”