1. Who wants to be a Millionaire -- Disney
It's been in the top three since the day it debuted. Will it ever end? Can it ever end? It proves one thing: mainstream gamers don't know Jack about good quiz games.

2. The Sims -- EA
Welcome to the freaky dollhouse. Full of serial killers, happy families, wife-swapping, same sex tickling and criminals who can carry a stove in a sack. Proof positive that Will still has the "Wright" stuff though --groan.

3. Roller Coaster Tycoon -- Hasbro
The most popular vomit-cleanup simulator ever made. Bar none. It's a brilliant little design that is reaping dividends for its creator. You go Chris Taylor!

4. Age Of Empires II -- Microsoft
You've got history in my RTS game! No, you've got RTS in your history game. No, that's not right either. Hmmm, at any rate you do have one hell of a refined RTS game that has a great historical flavor.

5. Command & Conquer: Tiberian Sun Firestorm -- EA
Tiberian Sun sucks. Firestorm is therefore just more suck for your game. Whoo-hoo.

6. Roller Coaster Tycoon Corkscrew Follies -- Hasbro
I love RC Tycoon but this is too little too late. Still no blank canvass scenario (which the game needed) and only a few new "rides, shows and adventures". An E ticket to be sure.

7. Star Wars: Force Commander -- LucasArts
"The Force is NOT strong with this one", "I have a bad feeling about this", "Don't be too proud of this techno-music you've created", "I hate you / I know" -- I could go on all day.

8. Starcraft -- Havas
Solid and compelling game design equals profit. Solid and compelling game design equals profit. Solid and compelling game design equals profit. Solid marketing, a constantly lowering price point and great word of mouth equal profit too.

9. Unreal Tournament -- GT Interactive
Finally in the top ten where it deserves to be.

10. Half-Life -- Havas
Solid and compelling game design equals profit. Head crabs help too. --Or-- Half-Life? They should have called it Shelf-Life! --groan

Next week? It's a date. I'll bring the whine...

By Andrew Bub

BIO
Andrew is a professional journalist working in the PC entertainment field. He mocks because of his abiding love for the industry and his wise-ass upbringing. So, keep a sense of humor, even if you find his lacking. Comment? Critique? Vendetta? News Tip? Write me.