The following is satire and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of SharkyExtreme or internet.com, in fact it may not even reflect reality.

They Break the News, I Break it Again!

The DNC has ended, the computer game release drought has also ended, nobody really died at QuakeCon in Texas and Gen Con stormed through Milwaukee. Plus, July's PCData Top Ten! That's a lot of news for one week isn't it? Well, that ain't the half of it, buddy-boy!

Quote of the Week: "I've listened to parents distressed about a culture that too often glorifies violence. Why can't all of us -- including the media -- give parents more control over what their children see on TV, in the movies, on the Internet, and video games?" ~First Lady Hillary Clinton at the DNC

All last week pundits explained that Al Gore needed to show himself as a real person, make a human connection with the electorate. Did he succeed? Well, recent revelations indicate he may have never had a chance. Due to a small glitch in his program, noted by several sharp eyed undercover Reform Party attendees, it was finally revealed as many have long suspected that Al Gore is the first candidate for president rendered completely in CGI.

"Tipper must be a programmer on par with John Carmack," explained Linda Denison, noted expert on such things. "Convincing textures, bump mapping, antiseptic filtering and, uh…" it was then we figured out she didn't know what she was talking about.

While Al Gore may be a technological achievement, the unknown development team wasn't able to stop the "cascade shimmer" effect that makes Gore look like he's always sweating. It is also speculated that someone on the development team handles Gore's voice acting.