The following is satire and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of SharkyExtreme or internet.com, in fact it may not even reflect reality.

They Break the News, I Break it Again!

If you read only one snarky PC game news source this week, go read Old Man Murray. If you read two, then come inside here and read this! It contains probably the most important game related news you'll ever read. Ever! I'm not joking. Come inside and at least find out who won that little Star Wars trivia contest.

Quote of the Week: "I hope the entertainment industry will see this legislation as an urgent plea to stop the denials and the excuses and to start working with us in addressing the toxic mix that is turning our kids into killers. At a minimum, I hope they will take it as a stern warning that we will not tolerate the marketing of ultraviolent, adult-rated products to children." ~Senator Joe Lieberman

Well it looks like the Democratic Party is offering us Senator Joe Lieberman as the vice-presidential candidate. Isn't that great news? Well, not if you're a video-game fan! Lieberman is well known as the foremost "Anti-Violent Media Crusader." He gives annual report cards to our beloved industry and almost single-handedly pressured the ISDA into rating video games.

He wants to steal your copies of Mortal Kombat, people! He'll steal them and then stamp upon them with his little crusader feet. This is a man who doesn't want you to play "morally repugnant" titles like Soldier of Fortune, Carmageddon, Postal and Roller Coaster Tycoon. He probably even hates Diablo II! [Gasp, Shudder] He's probably a big fan of Barbie Riding Club, too. Clearly he is unredeemably evil and must be stopped! If elected he will doubtlessly use his vast and far-reaching vice-presidential powers to wipe all violent video games from the face of the Earth! Imagine it. Him begging the media to listen to him. Vice-presidents are so freaking powerful these days.

So, if you consider yourself a video game fan, don't vote for him! He's probably evil in his concern for our children! Plus, he looks like Teller (from Pen and Teller) and the last thing we need is another magician in the White House.

Lieberman (Left), Teller (Right)