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They Break the News, I Break it Again!

Step right up ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the greatest show on Earth! We have news from the Republican Convention; some hot properties are a'comin' your way and also something about Star Wars. Yep, that's right geek-boys, Star Wars. So, step right up, and hey, if you're smart you may even win a prize!

Quote of the Week: "I have such faith in you, my fellow Americans. And I am haunted by the vision of what will be." ~John McCain

At the Republican national convention, crowds eagerly awaited to hear a speech from Nominee George W. Bush's controversial running mate, Max from MDK2. How would a multiple gun-toting and cigar-chomping doggie with a generally surly manner play among a crowd of NRA supporting tobacco lobbyists?

They needn't have worried, but there was a scare when Max opened fire on the delegates supporting John McCain. Thankfully those were all blanks so a good laugh was had by all, except Charlton Heston who would have returned fire had he not been restrained by the powerful Mrs. Barbara Bush. "Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape", Charlton exclaimed before he was removed from the premises.

Max pledged an end to the era of blaming Video Games, cigarettes and guns for killing people and inciting violence. "I love Mortal Kombat and I want to play it anywhere, including Indianapolis," the candidate barked to the crowd. (See next story for details.)