The following is satire and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of SharkyExtreme or internet.com, in fact it may not even reflect reality.

They Break the News, I Break it Again!

Well now, 13 issues of Beatdown here at SharkyExtreme, how about that? Let's hope no bad luck befalls me as I write this edition. Hollywood affected the news in a big way this past week with Alice heading out there, Aliens and Predators moving in together and some news to really Dredd… Battlefield Earth the game. That's not a joke, but you'll find a few of them if you come on inside.

Game Quote of the Week: "All my goods come with a guarantee for life and a two day warranty..."
--Gheed from Diablo 2

What is the true Lord of Terror? Is it some big bad demon living in a wandering ex-hero? Or is it the sound thousands of ardent gamers make when they find they can't play Diablo 2 online? It's the latter, folks. Despite all their good intentions, their much vaunted stress test and their commitment to quality, Blizzard's innovative Battle.Net servers cracked, crunched and crumbled under the influx of Amazons, Paladins, Necromancers, Sorceresses and Barbarians. Fans are reminded that Diablo 2 is also a single player game. So, why not try that out for a while.

A robed and wizened Blizzard spokesperson claims they will have the problem under control soon. "We really should have splurged and used those Superior Servers that Charsi the Rogue Blacksmith had for sale, instead of those Cracked Servers that we found in that chest in the woods."