Cuddly, scary and suggestively incestuous film star (did you see the Academy Awards?) Angelina Jolie will star as the pneumatic Lara Croft in the upcoming Tomb Raider film. As luck would have it Jolie already fits into the short shorts very well, she's probably going to have to do something about the bustline though. Jolie is best known from her role as Jon Voight's daughter, a role she should have won Best Supporting Actress for.

What's in a name? Consider this actual real-world announcement. "Nick Baynes leaves Probe and joins Climax." I could make one of a hundred jokes regarding this but instead I'll just shake my head and move on. If you like, I'll publish the best ones you can come up with next week. Give it a whirl.

Remember Andrew mocks only because he loves the industry. Keep a sense of humor, even if you find mine lacking. Comment? Critique? Vendetta? News Tip? beatdown@sharkyextreme.com.

By Andrew Bub